Most staff meetings are forgettable. Not at Woodfordia. 

The recent staff gathering kicked off on a high: Locals Day had been a triumph. But then Pete dropped the real news. The site’s resident goanna, it seems, is a bit of a socialite. People were feeding it. Kids were getting way too close. Pete had spent a chunk of his day essentially as the goanna’s personal bodyguard, following it around and keeping the admirers at bay. 

Clearly, a sign was needed. 

The group debated what it should say. Perhaps something of the usual Please Don’t Feed The Wildlife variety. Sensible. Responsible. Boring? 

Then someone suggested a different approach entirely: forget the sign for people about the goanna. Put up a sign for the goanna. A polite but firm request that it not cross a certain point on the property. 

Quite reasonably, Skye asked what language you’d use to communicate this to a large lizard. 

The answer: hieroglyphics. A pictographic communication, bridging the gap between ancient reptilian instinct and modern festival logistics. 

The meeting moved on. The goanna has yet to be informed of the boundary. Negotiations are ongoing. 

Please don’t feed the goanna.